Thursday, December 29, 2011

My Man is Better Than Your Man

It's been a while since I've posted and I know,  I know - you've missed me.   And I you.  But guess what? I've been busy, yo!  Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and being the mother of a toddler can do that to a woman.  There are gatherings to attend, pictures to be taken and general craziness that ensues.  But I'm back and I'm in pensive mode.  With the holiday season pretty  much behind us and the new year looming, I've been ruminating on the things that mean the most to me and I've decided I need to give a shout out to the man that's made pretty much every great thing that's happened to me over the last two and a half years possible.  So sit down, buckle up and hang on.  I'm about to brag like a motherfucker about why my man kicks ass.  

Reason #1: He's Smart!

Ridiculously smart.  As in CERTIFIED MICROBIOLOGIST smart!  He's got brains practically falling out of his asshole.  And that's sexy as hell.  And yes, I realize how that visual looks.  

Reason #2:  He's Thoughtful!

He remembers anniversaries and what my favorite flowers are.   He listens when I speak.  He knows how to give gifts like I've never seen and they are ALWAYS appropriate.   I give you Exhibit A: 

He fucking GETS me. 

Reason #3:  He's Funny!

Sometimes it's intentional.  Sometimes it's not.   All of the time it's fucking hilarious.  Some of his more memorable gems:  

Me:  Nobody could survive that kind of jump. 
Him:  You could if you had an Adamantium asshole.  
(Watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Hugh Jackman has just jumped off of an insanely high waterfall)

Him:  I don't remember his name. Not Charles Barkley, but that other black guy that plays basketball.
Me: Ummmmmmmm........
(Trying to describe who a sports commentator is to me)

Me:  Justin Bieber has a new cologne out.  
Him:  I bet it smells like Jesus!! 

Reason #4:  He's a Great Father!

He adores our child.  And the feeling is totally mutual.  


Reason #5 (and I think this is the most important):  He Chose Me!

Who doesn't enjoy being loved????????  
Back off, bitches.  This one's mine. 

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