Friday, August 5, 2011

My next job description needs to include the words "cut a bitch".

At my current job, I have a lot of time on my hands.  And by a lot, I mean 7.5 hours out of my day.  Couple that with an almost insane desire to be rich and famous and drunk, throw in a friend who wishes the exact same thing, and guess what happens? 

Magic.  That's what happens.  

So, for those of us who dare to dream of the red carpets, rehab and getting paid to party, my friend and I give you The Socialite Pledge of Allegiance. In the name of Paris Hilton, amen.

Place your right hand over your Britney (socialite speak for your cheechaw - may you flash it whenever possible) and repeat after me:
I pledge allegiance to Perez and the United Hills of Hollywood. And to the nightclub, in
which I'll fall, one nation, under glitter, incoherently, with 3 snaps
and a wave to the papz.

Thank you Glitter God!!

But never too drunk to cut you.